how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
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Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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