I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize