just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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