CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize