wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize