I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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