So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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