I have demons in me.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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