I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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