Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
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There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
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You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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