Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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