He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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