I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
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I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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