Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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