are you still at the devil's house?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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