Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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