dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fuck appropriateness.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
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She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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