tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
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Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
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You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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