i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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