She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize