omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize