y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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