think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize