Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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