Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize