I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize