he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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