just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You need Xanax blowdarts
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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