I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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