smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so let's talk penis.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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