Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize