we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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