just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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