i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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