you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize