I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize