So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize