I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
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I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
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I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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