Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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