i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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