I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
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We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
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We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize