Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize