He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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