Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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