I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
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Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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