I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize