You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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