Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
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Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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