There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
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I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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