you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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